Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
