How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
