How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
