a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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