Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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