My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
