i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
