called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
