I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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