Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
