I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
