SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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