I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
