I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
