These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
