i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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