I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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