STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
