Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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