TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
