She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize