am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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