Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
