But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize