You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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