Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I need water and some morals
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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