normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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