Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
