I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
