A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize