how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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