We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
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even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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