sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
