I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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