is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My feet surprised me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
