I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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