Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
