he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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