Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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