So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
