Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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