You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
