i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize