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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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