No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
