We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
