We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
