If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
