and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
