I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
