Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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