Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
