you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
