You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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