speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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