she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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