i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
