can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
