im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
