It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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