idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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