I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
