dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
id be glad to
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
