He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
